Parable of the Pecuniary Pajamas - - or - - How I Spent my Winter Recovery

by Mary Alice Williamson
Copyright © 2009

After my surgery, I found I had difficulty getting comfy. Outfits were uncomfortable, waistbands on slacks were too tight on my scars, so I mostly wore pajamas. The p.j.’s had to be soft and warm, but the ones I had were not warm enough. So I ordered a pair, on clearance sale, cheap. I decided to try my first pair of cotton flannel pajamas.

They looked just like what I expected, only better! These flannel Mickey Mouse pajamas, 100% cotton, had Santa Mickey, holiday Minnie Mouse, log cabins, pine trees of Christmas green, and pastel pink snowflakes in cheerful Christmas colors on a soft creamy background. It was a friendly cheery creamy color, mostly background, not too busy-looking, with narrow red satin piping around edges and on cuffs. I tried them on. Comfortably loose-fitting, soft to the touch, luxuriously cozy and warm, they seemed so perfect! I felt so happy and joyful to wear them!

Upon seeing me in my new cheery pajamas, my son Joe chuckled and said I looked beautiful! How fun! Did I deserve them? Was I VAIN? What a silly idea. Something happened. Whenever I wore these p.j.’s, I felt as if I had spent a fortune on them! I was obsessed with them. I HAD to have them. I did not care who went without. At first, I wanted to buy some for others so they could have them, too, but then I figured they were probably sold out of these by then. I was NOT willing to give them up! I didn’t care WHO was cold! I HAD to wear these GORGEOUS Mickey Mouse flannel pajamas! I wore them three nights in a row!

Then I felt guilty. I felt condemned! Was there no reprieve for me? Was I doomed to endless despair for my out-of-control vanity? What would I SAY? What could I DO? I put them in the dirty laundry; maybe I just would not wear them for a while. Maybe they were bad.

I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to wear those pajamas!

Now, understand, with only two of us for laundry purposes, I had taken to washing loads with less sorting. For clothing, there were two bins: whites and light colors in a load, and colors, reds and darks in another load. Someone asked, “Oh, you wash your whites separately, and the rest together?”

I said, “Yeh.”

Now, I could not be a liar right on the spot. Maybe later, I don’t know, but certainly not right after saying that! I agonized. If I washed them with the whites, the whites might turn pinkish from Santa Mickey and holiday Minnie. If I washed them with the rest, the rest were a LOT darker than these. What if the black from other new clothing darkened these lovely pale pink snowflakes and the dreamy pastel background?

I stuffed them all in the washer. The pajamas looked doomed in there surrounded by blackness.

When I put them in the dryer, I thought they looked awfully dark when they were wet, but I proceeded anyway. Then they were done. I pulled out the load and cringed! They were the essence of dinge! My beautiful beloved inanimate Christmas Mickey Mouse pajamas were dull and drab! Oh the pain! Oh the cruelty! Oh the unfairness! I bought three different kinds of laundry brighteners. Oh the expense!

Well, these pajamas were definitely less dark and dull. They were also kind of old and faded looking, except without the torn or ragged appearance. The reason to feel rich and haute about them was gone. Now they were just ordinary. ORDINARY! Even though now they cost more money! All those cleaners! It just goes to show that costly can be more costly than costlier! Don’t you get it?

I don’t get it. I cannot forgive myself for ruining my wonderful pajama dream. I hate those pajamas for being ruined. I have decided to ignore them. But, .... they still feel cozy and warm. Darn.

Life is back to normal. I have a pair of warm pajamas that are roomy and comfortable and cozy when I feel cold and uncomfortable or ill. Perhaps I’ve learned to not hold my mistakes against myself or others. There is life after heartache. The light of dawn comes after darkness.

No matter what, there’s always silliness.