Once outside, her grandfather was nowhere in sight. Jenny looked in every direction. As she stood there a strange feeling came over her. She felt sick. Her body moved through space like it would a tunnel. Everything was a blur. Then all was still.
Jenny was far from her home. She felt dizzy. She sat on the ground, gasping for breath. She pulled a water bottle out of her bag and took a drink.
Her grandfather walked by.
"Hey!"
He turned to her, shocked. "Jenny! How did you get here?"
"I don't know. I just followed you."
"That's impossible. No one follows me anywhere."
"Well, I just did. Care to tell me where we are and how we got here?"
"No. Go home." Grandfather disappeared.
Jenny stood, shouldered her bag and set her jaw. Everything blurred like before. Jenny, again, was dizzy when she stopped, but not as badly as before.
"I'm not going home without you."
"I lived a life with you and your family already. I'm moving on."
"I won't let you walk out on us."
"I died, remember? I am no longer part of your family. Go home."
"No."
"I have a new life to live. Go home."
"You have a life with us."
"I'm no longer an old man. I can't have a bunch of kids calling me grandpa."
"You'll get over it."
"Just go home and let me live."
He disappeared again.
"I don't think so." She followed him.
Elizabeth Williamson Copyright © 2010
4 comments:
for some background on these characters, click the label "clock" there are two other posts there. one before this scene and one after.
Seething with furry? I'd be furrious too!
Toward the end you say "Go home" 5 times in the space of 13 sentences. Is there another way of saying "You're a pest"?
He says, "let me live", but... he's dead.
I fear this doesn't make contextual sense, where's the rest of the story? Who are these two characters and why is she (who is she?) insisting that a dead man's spirit come home to spend time with her kids?
Sorry if it sounds like I'm being too critical, overall it's a good piece, but without the rest of the story I'm really really lost. (Now, I see where you posted your comment about where to find the rest of the story... maybe you should mention this before the reader starts into the reading?) I'll try again.
Now I'm just confused. Which titles are related to the Jenny story, and which one do I read 1st, 2nd, 3rd (and/or) 4th?
I saw "Clock and Turn", "Fools Rush In.. (etc.)", "Grandfather Clock", and "Jenny". Be specific please.
read grandfather clock 1st then jenny then fools rush in. he's not dead. he had a funeral but he is alive. jenny is a young girl who is offended at the way her grandfather has brushed her and her mother aside in favor of a new life.
i'll work on that go home stuff
Post a Comment