“Isn’t it time you were in bed young man?”
“But…” Ricky stammered, “I’ve still got homework that I haven’t finished,” He glanced around the room, taking mental notes. “There is a half-eaten Twinkie on my shelf, and my clothes are all over the place. I really should take care of those things before heading off to bed.”
“A half-eaten Twinkie? That’s your excuse for not going to bed? That is one of the most ridiculous, bogus, and far-fetched excuses for not going to bed that I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard some whoppers from your brothers and sisters. Besides, it’s been there for a week already and you haven’t made a move toward finishing it off, so no go on the Twinkie excuse.”
Ricky sighed, “But you can’t deny that having unfinished homework is a very good excuse for not going to bed. Mrs. McGillicutty will be furious if I walk into her class with only the first seventeen problems out of thirty finished.”
“It’s not a valid excuse after you spent the entire afternoon playing on your computer, visiting your friends, and generally avoiding doing anything responsible, at all cost. What you should have considered is that if you put it off too long, of course your homework wouldn’t get done before it was time to go to bed. You had plenty of time to get it done this afternoon, so no, I don’t think it is a good excuse.”
“Okay, so what about the clothes lying on the floor, draped over the back of the chair, in the window, and all over the place. I’m sure that’s not sanitary.”
“A fact that you should have considered while throwing it about the room hairy-carey! Look mister, you are all out of excuses, now go to bed! Close your eyes, or there will be dire consequences!”
“Oh, I did think of one other excuse for not going to bed!” Ricky chimed.
“And what might that possibly be?”
“That as soon as I start snoring, you’ll wrap some slimy tentacle, or a rotting claw around my neck, and drag me down into the abyss, and YOU'LL EAT ME!”
The voice from under the bed sounded indignant. “My tentacles are not slimy, and I resent the accusation.”
BED
Ken Chandler
Copyright © 2009
“But…” Ricky stammered, “I’ve still got homework that I haven’t finished,” He glanced around the room, taking mental notes. “There is a half-eaten Twinkie on my shelf, and my clothes are all over the place. I really should take care of those things before heading off to bed.”
“A half-eaten Twinkie? That’s your excuse for not going to bed? That is one of the most ridiculous, bogus, and far-fetched excuses for not going to bed that I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard some whoppers from your brothers and sisters. Besides, it’s been there for a week already and you haven’t made a move toward finishing it off, so no go on the Twinkie excuse.”
Ricky sighed, “But you can’t deny that having unfinished homework is a very good excuse for not going to bed. Mrs. McGillicutty will be furious if I walk into her class with only the first seventeen problems out of thirty finished.”
“It’s not a valid excuse after you spent the entire afternoon playing on your computer, visiting your friends, and generally avoiding doing anything responsible, at all cost. What you should have considered is that if you put it off too long, of course your homework wouldn’t get done before it was time to go to bed. You had plenty of time to get it done this afternoon, so no, I don’t think it is a good excuse.”
“Okay, so what about the clothes lying on the floor, draped over the back of the chair, in the window, and all over the place. I’m sure that’s not sanitary.”
“A fact that you should have considered while throwing it about the room hairy-carey! Look mister, you are all out of excuses, now go to bed! Close your eyes, or there will be dire consequences!”
“Oh, I did think of one other excuse for not going to bed!” Ricky chimed.
“And what might that possibly be?”
“That as soon as I start snoring, you’ll wrap some slimy tentacle, or a rotting claw around my neck, and drag me down into the abyss, and YOU'LL EAT ME!”
The voice from under the bed sounded indignant. “My tentacles are not slimy, and I resent the accusation.”
BED
Ken Chandler
Copyright © 2009
3 comments:
that's funny. i thought it was his mom. very enjoyable. i like all his lame excuses.
you're using the characters to describe the room. it comes out forced. relax. there's just a little too much detail. give us hints and clues. don't spell it out.
Ken,
I can see one of your drawings coming to life in this story...nice!
Suggestion -
You know the way you normally introduce a character with a familiar voice or a shadow in a corner.
I became confused when the only two references were to Ricky and
Mrs. McGillicutty.
Great twist but I would have liked a segway to the character under the bed.
Only a suggestion. - Great short story!!
Applaud- standing ovation -Alisa
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