Back in the dark recesses of my mind is hidden the truely frightening nightmare.
It is always the same one. The one that leaves me in a cold sweating panic. The one that, when I wake up, I am grateful I don't have to live through anymore. This nightmare is real. This is one I had to live through for half of my life; day after day, week after week, year after year.
Every day in my prayers, I reiterate how thankful I am that it is now only a dream; that it is no longer reality.
Even now, the memories of those years haunt me. When that nightmare occurs I force myself awake, and express gratitude that it was only a dream; not reality.
My nightmare began when I was four, almost five. It was my first day of school. The real nightmare didn't end until, years later, when I graduated.
Because this nightmare terrified me so much, I learned to change it. I no longer have to sit in high school surrounded by idiots. I can disappear, fly out the window, blow the place up, or whatever pleases me at the time. I am in control. I change the nightmare.
I do not belong to the nightmare. It belongs to me.
Elizabeth Williamson Copyright © 2008
9 comments:
Wow,
Emotionally charged.
I lost myself between reality for the author and or the fiction for the character.
Is this an excerpt?
nice,-Alisa
Not to be jerk, but your title is backwards. Absence of Fear creates Power. It's when we take control and push down the fear that we are in charge of our emotions, our selves.
Or as Mark Twain once said:
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
Is that how you truly felt about school, or this a purely fictional tale. I agree with Alisa, charged!
actually this is my 1st non-fiction piece... ever. scary eh?
fear does create power. it creates the power to overcome and control. the power to destroy fear.
Fear doesn't motivate, Hope does. Just as you don't put out a fire with a flame thrower, you can't destroy fear with fear. Fear inspires more fear until it destroys willpower.
If fear is your motivation, it doesn't have staying power. If you're motivated by fear, you will invariably become angry, jealous or some other negative emotion.
You might see that you're fearful, and allow Hope to empower change in you. You don't feel fear and become more afraid until you change. You have Hope that change can come, and by being Hopeful you can make the change from fearful to courageous.
yes well fear is the reason for hope hope takes action action is power. it's a chain of things see. i just skipped the middle stuff
You've skipped the important stuff and come to the wrong conclusion. Fear does not, nor ever will create power, and no argument, or sophistry, or cunning manipulation of the truth, will change that. Sorry.
If you doubt me, which apparently you do, ask your dad.
if one never fears, one never gains courage. like i said it's a chain. one thing leads to another. the power i'm referring to is the power to conquer. the power change. and there's all this muck in the middle that i skipped.
you misunderstand me. which is probably my fault because i simplify to the extreme. i'm NOT talking about the fear being the power. it is the banishment of it
fear begets a desire not to fear. the desire not to fear brings a desire to change. the desire to change brings courage (often feeble at this point). courage brings hope. hope brings the action of change. the action of change brings the end of fear, the end of fear brings greater courage which is power. power to conquer. power to control. power to squash that fear like a bug.
On to the next subject.
i changed the title because someone finally made sense about it. it sounded to me as though it was just a matter of words and i didn't see what the big deal was. but i found out it was the emotional impact that was the problem and that does make a difference.
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