"Hey! Hey Girl! Wake up!"
Esther stirred. She had a crick in her neck and a kink in her back. She was not falling asleep on another stoop in a hurry. She opened her eyes and looked up into several bearded faces. "Are... are you the owners of this house?"
"We are."
"My name is Esther."
"Get out of the way! Give the poor girl some room!" said a woman elbowing her way through the beards.
"I'm Jara, and these are my brothers." Esther stood and saw that she was head and shoulders taller than the lot of them. "Come inside, Esther," said Jara.
Esther followed Jara inside, followed by the brothers. Jara stoked up the fire and began putting together dinner. Each brother was given a vegetable to cut up and put in the pot. With so many working together, they had a soup in short order.
The table was set and Esther sat on a small chair that was made to fit the others. She sat at the table with her legs to one side, as they did not fit under the table.
"What brings you to our door?" asked Jara.
"I'm avoiding my marriage. I despise my fiance."
"Was the man so terrible?"
"He's in love with himself, and he only wanted to marry me because I'm the heiress of my father's kingdom."
"Jerk," muttered one of the brothers.
"He should be beaten," said another.
"Scurvy dog," said a third.
"He who loves himself has no love," said a fourth.
"You can stay here until he leaves," said a fifth.
"Do you want us to kill him for you?" said the sixth.
She thinks about this possibility for a moment. "Tempting, but no. As much as I detest him, he at least treats his own subjects fairly well." Esther eats some soup. "This is wonderful. What are your names?"
"Farol."
"Aord."
"Lerso."
"Kurgh."
"Mofiz."
"Vogar."
"Unusual names. Have you always lived here?"
"No. We're Dwarves. We're from... somewhere else," said Jara.
"What are Dwarves?"
"Dwarf is like Human or Fairy. You are Human. We are Dwarves."
"Are there many Dwarves?"
"Not here. We are the only ones in this place."
"Oh. What brings you to our kingdom?"
The seven Dwarves looked at each other over their soup bowls. Some nodded. Some shook their heads. "We've come here to take back the Fairies," said Lerso.
"Really? Why?"
"There was a... a problem... at home... and the Fairies escaped. We have been tracking them down and returning them to where they came from," said Vogar.
"Good!"
Several eyebrows rose. "Good?" said Jara. "I thought Humans loved the Fairies."
"My sisters and I are the recipients of their 'gifts'. If you ask my father, the king, for assistance, he will gladly help you."
The Dwarves grinned. "This is good news indeed," said Kurgh. "Not many Humans have been willing to help us."
"We will help you."
"Excellent!" said Farol. "The Fairies know about us and have been avoiding us. They don't want to leave this place."
"They're having too much fun," said Mofiz.
"Fun?!? Fun!?! FUN!!! Is that all we are to them?!? Fun!?!" Esther threw down her soup spoon. "Why those dirty!... Selfish!... Users!!! That is it! No more Fairies! I want them out of my kingdom, now!"
"That's the spirit!" said Vogar.
Elizabeth Williamson Copyright © 2010
4 comments:
The dialogue seems a little forced and the scene happens a little too quickly. Take some time to tell the story.
there. i made a few changes. it's better now. not perfect but better
Jara never introduces herself, we just learn what her name is, because "Jara said".
I know you struggle with setting, so I won't go on about it, but I recommend giving the reader a bit of information on her surroundings. Is she in a cave, or a cottage? When the scene opened I thought she was on a bed inside the dwarf's home-- ah contraire.
An interesting start to what might be an gripping tale. Mostly I'm interested in the 'gifts' that the fairies have imparted to the princesses. They certainly didn't gain favor with this princess.
Jara introduces herself in the very beginning. it's a house/cottage. i should fix that.
-for your amusement- (i.e. not in the post)
Esther's particular gift is rather um... unjolly. you see when she was born two fairies came, a man and a woman. these 2 were engaged and the girl fairy wanted a colorful trousseau and she said something like "At a young age the princess will dye-" then she was interrupted by her fiance. he said it was a selfish gift and they left with the gift unfinished.
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