Bunbury Bank sat on the corner of 7th and Main. All was quiet. Even the late night revelers had scattered and gone home.
Inside the bank five thieves were in the process of breaking open the vault. They are wearing black Armani, Prada, Akris, Piazza Sempione and St John clothing and accessories.
“Have you got it yet?” asked Angelina.
“No. Hush!” said Alicia, with her ear to the door of the vault listening for the click of the lock.
“Janice, did you bring anything to eat? I’m hungry,” said Maria.
Janice searches through her purse, and pulls out a container. She opens it revealing little luncheon sandwiches. She shares them with the other girls.
“Mmm… These are really good. What's in the sauce?” asked Jenny.
“That’s a family secret,” said Janice.
The sound of a suppressed scream interrupts any further culinary dialog. “I broke a nail!” wailed Alicia.
Pandemonium ensues as four girls turn out their purses.
“I have a file!”
“I’ve got a buffer!”
“Nail polish remover!”
“Nail polish!”
The girls sat in a circle in front of the vault and went to work on the afflicted Alicia. As they work to make her nails perfect they talk and chat about the important things in life.
“Janice, I notice your acne finally cleared up. Did you find something that worked?” asked Jenny.
Janice blushed in embarrassment. “You know my cousin Luna?”
“Ewww… nerd girl?” said Alicia.
“Well, we had a family reunion last weekend and I forgot my face cleanser, so I had to use Luna’s.”
“Ohh… you poor girl,” sympathized Angelina.
Janice winced. “Well, you know how I use that spa stuff that costs fifty dollars a bottle? Well, Luna uses Clearasil.”
“No!” said Maria in horror.
Janice hung her head. “The Clearasil works.”
The four other girls’ jaws hung open as they stared at her. “You mean to say that that cheap drug store stuff works?” asked an incredulous Alicia.
“Yes. There were immediate results and I went into a… a… a… Walgreens… to buy more.”
“You went into a Walgreens!?” said a shocked and appalled Jenny.
“Yes!” admitted Janice, near tears. “I was so embarrassed to be in such a common place, but I was desperate.”
Janice’s friends silently comfort her. “Surely there must be a better way…”
“I made arrangements with one of the servants to get it for me next time,” said Janice.
“Good idea. Very sensible,” said Angelina.
They finished their important work on Alicia’s nails and Alicia returned to the task of opening the safe.
“Where did you get your shoes?” Jenny asked Maria. “They’re cute.”
“Thanks. They’re Prada,” said Maria. “I got them to match my handbag.” She holds it next to the shoes to demonstrate their cuteness.
“Oooo! That is cute.”
“Got it!” said an excited Alicia as she opened the vault. The five worked quickly and efficiently to fill their bags with the contents of the vault.
When they were finished, Alicia left a card in the middle of the floor with a small box of fine chocolates, which said, “Thank you for your patronage.”
They closed and sealed the vault, exited the bank and reconnected the security system. They climbed into Angelina’s Aston Martin that was parked in the side alley. She pulled forward. There was bump.
“What was that?” asked Jenny.
Alicia, who was in the front passenger seat twisted around to look. “It’s just an old man in a box. He’s yelling and shaking his beer bottle at you. You’d better get moving before he throws it at your car. He might scratch the paint.”
Angelina took off. Scratched paint was not an option.
“We did it girls,” said Alicia. “No one can call us ditzy cheerleaders.”
“Ha! I’d like to see hardened criminals try and pull a neat job like that,” said Janice.
© Copyright 2008 Elizabeth Williamson
9 comments:
Very nice! You kept my attention the whole way through the story. However, the bank robbing seemed out of place... It seems like the dialog that was going on wouldn't be happening during a bank robbery, or is that the irony of it?
that is what makes it so funny
I do have one suggestion... when Alicia says, "No. Hush!" perhaps make it...
"No. Hush!" said Alicia, as she struggled to pick the lock of the vault.
...or something to that effect. The first time I read this through, I was confused about what Angelina was asking about when she asked if Alicia had it yet. I thought she was asking if she had all the money in the bag yet... at first I didn't realize that the vault was still locked! So a slight revision there is needed.
Actually, Aston Martins, while being exceptionally cool cars, generally only have two seats.
but not always. i checked astin martin's website to see for myself. they do have 4 seaters
thanks for pointing that out ailene. i fixed it
The part where she's describing the $50 face cleanser-- then she says it works... that's confusing. Does the face cleanser her Nerdy cousin uses work, or the $50 Spa Treatment?
I assume you're making fun of girls who are conceited blondes. I wonder if they truly talk like this. If they are dumb and blond, are they smart enough to brake into a bank, and then it's vault? Seems like a far-fetched idea. Still I laughed a little at the absurdity of it.
And like I said to Eric, I thought the word limit was 1,000 words. Yours is almost 3,000. Can we increase the limit, or at least make it 2,000 or 2,500? Obviously, it's difficult to limit our expressions to 1,000 words-- but try 500 some time.
actually i took a word count before i publishd it it's less than 700 words
i made the clarification ken. and the whole point was that it was absurd. most fashion rich girls don't ever give robbery or other crimes any thought at all. although i have noticed that many of those girls tend to be pretty smart... they just don't like it to be known and play dumb... (like a certain 9 yr old girl i know)
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