Clock and Turn Mary Alice Williamson © Copyright 2008
The clock winked. How could that be? It was dark, late on a crisp fall evening. I turned around to head for the door. Something seemed – different. I opened my bedroom door, turned to my right, and headed down the stairs.
As I opened the door at the bottom of the stairway, I noticed the soft lighting in the living room, coming from small gas lamps on the wall. The dim light reflected off the wallpaper near the lamps. It was a generously sized room with very old-style furniture, looking quite new. The floor had a floral rug on it, the colors muted, shadowed by the dim lighting. The doorways and windows had beautiful old-fashioned, fancy wood trim. It was easy to tell the woodwork was varnished, it looked so dark in the poorly lit room. I felt the floorboards with my bare feet by the doorway, around the edge of the rug. These were smooth, wide boards, in mint condition, like new.
Was this a dream? I pinched myself. Ouch!!
We have lived in our house for 30 years! I know my house! This was my house! Just one little thing: it did NOT look like this! I mean, it looked the same, only THIS looked like it was out of the past, 100 years ago! How could this be? I was scared.
Was anyone in the house? Was this real? Was I delusional? How could I see and feel this just as real as real can be? I went to the next room and the next! Panic set in. I couldn’t find anyone!
Everyone knows I tend to get hysterical. Well, this was it! What to do? What to do???
I did the only thing I knew to do. I went back to my room, now looking all turn-of-the-century 1900's bedroom with its flowery wallpaper, plank wood floorboards, and 'new antique' furnishings including a four-poster, quilt-covered bed. I turned down the covers and slipped into bed. The white cotton percale sheets felt so wonderful, I soon fell back to sleep. As I was dozing off, I wondered – What will all this look like in the morning?
2 comments:
ha! home... good job on the imagery. and the panic. i could feel it mounting. then the tired shocking calm of going back to bed.
A really enjoyable piece Mom! I'm glad you found the time to write.
Terrific descriptions of the person's environment (...not sure it they're male or female-- though I assume it's a female character). I also enjoyed (at least a little) the tumult of emotions this character felt as their world was turned upside down. You've really put us in their head.
Here are some suggestions:
"These were smooth, wide boards, in mint condition, if you know what I mean."
Not sure that "if you know what I mean", is necessary to this sentence. It throws the reader out of the story and into a dialogue with the narrator. Breaks the illusion.
"The floor had some kind of floral rug on it,..."
Remove "some kind of"; if you're not sure it throws the reader into doubt too. Be specific and sure about what you're seeing. Descriptions are better than generalizations.
"I went back to my room, now looking all turn-of-the-century..."
This sentence is missing a word(s).
Terrific stuff, Mom! I knew you had it in you. Thanks again for sharing this with us.
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