The front door slammed open. A group of Elves, Gnomes and Dwarves ran through the house, killing as many people as they could; men, women and children.
Death enters the house. He found a Dwarf slitting the throat of a child. Death cut him in half with his scythe. An Elf shot arrows in the backs of those that were trying to run away. Death killed him. A Gnome thew a young boy out of an upper story window. Death eliminated him. Another Dwarf slashed his way down the hall. Death slashed him. Other murderers inflicted as much damage as they could. Death sought them out.
He cornered the last murderer. "Why have you killed my children?"
The Gnome refused to answer. Death killed him.
Death did his duty and separated the spirits of the murdered from their dead bodies. He said "Goodbye" and "I love you" to each one.
Life entered. She screamed at the sight of her slaughtered children.
Death told her what happened. Tears streaming down her face, she went outside and fell to the earth. The ground rumbled and shook. A large hole formed.
Death, and the children still living, brought out the dead and placed them in the hole.
Life dug her fingers into the earth. The ground covered the bodies. Grass and flowers sprouted.
Life collapsed and sobbed. Death knelt beside her and sobbed with her. The living children joined them.
=====
My aunts say it was just a dream, but the images are so clear I wonder if they are telling the truth.
I lean over the soup pot and stir the contents. I hear his quietly shuffling feet on the stone kitchen floor. I watch him. His movements are wooden as he sits down at the table. He isn't really looking at it. He always looks straight ahead into nothing. He never says anything. He never does anything. He never goes anywhere. I want desperately for him to speak. What would he say? I want to cry for the words he never says, for the feelings he never shares.
I dish up a bowl of soup for him and give him a spoon. He eats listlessly, while I serve myself. I sit across from him. I can't eat. I have to know.
"Dad." His eyes flicker ever so slightly and shift to mine. I have no memory of ever calling him that. My aunts have told me nothing of his relationship to me, but I know who he is. The word tastes strange in my mouth. I swallow. "Why don't you ever speak to me? Don't you love me?"
His blue eyes are penetrating as they look into mine. I try to penetrate back. I see sadness, pain and that quiet softness that is his alone, but he is very far away. I can see him coming back into himself, slowly at first, but coming faster and faster. When he is fully there, his eyes light up. He clears his throat. "Yes, Qeria, I do. I am sorry. I have been very busy." His eyes start to dim again.
"Dad! Wait!" He stops and comes back. "Busy with what? Can I help?"
He thinks about this for a minute. I have never seen him so lifelike. It is shocking, yet relieving. I don't want him to leave again. "I have been doing my duty. No one can help with that."
"What is your duty?"
He raises an eyebrow at me. "Have your sisters told you nothing?"
"My sisters? I don't have any sisters!"
"No sisters? Ariara!"
Aunt Ariara rushes in. "Dad! You're here! What happened?" He's here? He's always here! Isn't he? My aunts Dotia and Elemie enter the kitchen with the same question.
He looks at each of them sternly. "Qeria has no sisters?"
I have never seen my aunts so flustered before. They "um" and "er" and look at each other, but refuse to meet Dad's eyes.
"Well?" he asks.
"We told her we were her aunts," Ariara mutters.
"Her aunts? Why?"
They shuffle their feet. "Because, we're so much older than she is. It was weird saying she was our sister," says Ariara.
"Especially since we look older than you," says Dotia, "She's only ten!"
His eyes are momentarily hard before softening again. "Your older siblings said the same thing about you. History repeats."
"Dad, where's Mom?" I ask.
"She's coming," his eyes dim momentarily, "with your brothers."
"Why don't they live with us?"
"You will know soon enough," he says.
"Did you and Mom break up?"
He smiles at me. "No. We love each other too much for that. We have been together even though we have not been with you."
"Where have you been? What have you been doing?"
"You didn't tell her. Why?" he asks my sisters.
"We thought it would be better if she didn't know," says Ariara.
"Better for whom?"
"Know what?" Why didn't they just say it?
He pulled me in close so I would see only his eyes. His eyes. Blue. Old, even though his face was not Eternal, with many endings. I gasp. "You're Death!"
He nods.
"And... and Mom?"
"Life."
"It was real."
I drop to the floor, shocked. My au- sisters are yelling. Dad ignores them, picks me up and sits me on his lap. He doesn't say anything, he just holds me.
I was right. The truth is scary. Not boogieman scary. A different kind. What am I? What will I become? Will I age like my sisters? Or will I be ageless like my parents?
"You should have told her," he says.
=====
Boys are so noisy. I have never lived with my brothers before. Kofer, one of my younger brothers, runs through the house, arms spread, pretending to be a Dragon. Mom smiles at him.
It's weird having her around, but, then again, it's weird having Dad around too. They act as though they have never been apart. They say they haven't.
Dad disappeared two days ago, then walked in the door with five more sisters and two more brothers. Mom did the same, bringing three more brothers and one sister. Dad says there are more. I currently live with twenty siblings, with more on the way, not including the twins still in Mom's belly.
New rooms to the house appear every time siblings arrive. The living room is enormous. Dad grabs Kofer, and, calling to the others, carries him into the living room.
“Alright everyone. Quiet down,” says Dad. The furniture is covered by my siblings. There are so many. Janue, my toddler sister, sits on Mom's lap. Dad continues, “We need to know what you can do. We have been a family divided because we were attacked.” He holds up his hand as voices fill the room. “We thought we would be safer if we split up, but many of your brothers and sisters are not here.” He pauses. “I had to visit them officially.”
This causes quite a stir. “We need to test each of you. We need to know what abilities you have,” says Mom.
“Why?” says Ariara.
“We are going to fight for our family.”
The tension is broken by seven more sisters and five more brothers walking through the door.
=====
It is my turn. I don't know what I can do. My older sisters never let me do much magic. They said it was for my protection. Mom takes my hand and we move from one point to another in no time at all.
"Can you do that Qeria?"
"I don't know. I've never tried."
"Go ahead and try now. Just think of where you want to go."
Before I have time to think of anything else, I am standing next to Dad. He is working. We are in a Gnome city, with bodies piled up in the streets. Many of the Gnomes are crying. I tug on Dad's cloak. He turns to me, his eyebrows rise. "What are you doing here?"
"Mom told me to think of where I wanted to go and I thought of you. Where are we?"
The Gnome city of Herion. I am stalking the streets."
"Why?"
"It's expected of me when there's a plague."
"Is that all you do, is stalk?"
"No. I do my regular work too." He swings his scythe and a spirit leaves its body.
"Can I try?"
"No. This is my work."
We walk in silence for a few minutes.
"Dad?"
"Yes?"
"How many siblings do I have?"
"Currently? Or altogether?"
"Both."
"There are two hundred and eighty six currently living."
"Two hundred and eighty six! I haven't even seen them all!
"Many of your older siblings are married and have families of their own. Remember, your mother and I are immortal. We have lived on this world since the beginning. You have many brothers and sisters who have simply died of old age."
"How many altogether?"
"One thousand and eight. The twins in your mother's womb are 1009 and 1010."
A thousand children! I stop and stare and Dad. He stops his stalking to look at me.
"What number am I?
"One thousand."
"How do you remember us all?"
"As Life and Death, your mother and I know the names of every person who has ever lived."
Mom appears. "Death, have you seen... Here you are Qeria. I was worried."
"I wanted to see Dad."
She smiles. "We have another child that can travel as we do."
"Can they all?"
She shakes her head. "Not since our first."
"Who was your first?"
"Time."
"Oh. I'm the only one since her that has been able to travel like you?"
They nod.
"Does this mean I'm immortal too?"
They shrug. "Maybe," says Dad. "We don't know."
"Why not? You would know if anyone does."
"The Creator likes us to find these things out ourselves," says Mom. "Come. Let's go home and let your father get back to his stalking."
I take her outstretched hand and we return home. I might be immortal. I don't know whether to be excited or sick.
Elizabeth Williamson Copyright © 2008
8 comments:
I liked the idea for your story a lot. How would it affect you to find out your parents are immortal? And further, that they are Life and Death? Yikes, might be a bit confusing, knowing, or thinking you know, who you are.
I appreciated her confusion and the complexity of her emotions. We can really connect with what she's feeling. Terrific.
I'm confused about why Death thinks his daughters ought to tell her everything she needs to know, but doesn't take an active roll?
And there's another thing, what's the girls name? The main character?
I would like to see more of the setting. All we know is that they're in the kitchen, and there's a spoon and a large pan of soup, but what kind? Does being able to see any of it matter, or are they details that draw us into the story? Details in setting draw us in, make us a participant, rather than hearing the story second hand.
We don't know who, 'he' is at the start of the story. It's a bit confusing. Establish character right from the start.
"Talking is not something he does. Ever."
Talking is not something he does, ever.
(Ever is not a complete sentence.)
Death never goes anywhere or does anything, but he has meetings with his wife?
How?
"Dad! Wait!" He stops and comes back. "What with? Can I help?"
• Dad, wait!
• He stops and comes back? Rephrase...
• What with? Rephrase...
She must be very strong. : )
"I drop the floor, shocked."
"My a- sisters are yelling"
My... uh, sisters are yelling (or) My, uh, sisters
Rather than simply state that her parents are Life and Death. It might be more dramatic if she reveals her new found wisdom to someone, or in her head. Or exclaims the fact (in shock) to her Dad, who acknowledges it. Someone beside the reader. Keep it in the context of the story.
the main character is Qeria. she's named in the story. you'll notice that death had to come to his kitchen from somewhere else. qeria is describing what she herself sees. not necessarily reality. what life and death are doing are a long story and their reasons for being separating their family is also a long story. as death said to qeria.
I stand corrected. :)
I still feel that the father and Qeria ought to be established, by name, or at least by title (Dad) within the 1st paragraph. 'Aunt' Ariara is the only character mentioned by name in the first 7-8 paragraphs.
"They um and er and looked at each other..."
Is there a better way to say that they were nervous/uneasy?
There is a period after the line "Dad, where's Mom?" I ask. It becomes unclear who's speaking. Add an "I said", "Dad said" every couple of lines to establish more clearly who's speaking.
When Dad responds "You didn't tell her. Why?" It's unclear who he's addressing. Logically, I know, but on my first reading I didn't make the connection, because he doesn't direct his comments toward the older sisters.
Qeria's comment about him 'never going anywhere or doing anything' comes across as a matter of fact, not just her perception. I had the impression that she was saying he never leaves the house.
He comes into the kitchen from someplace else, my impression was that he came from the living room. Is that not so. If it's not the case, it should be stated in the text.
What age is Qeria? She talks like a young teen, she makes dinner instead of the older sisters, but her Dad puts her on his lap as if she were a 4-6 year old. And she doesn't seem to know what's going on. She's never questioned her mother's absence before now, which makes me think that she's very young.
Why do the older sisters know about their father and mothers plans, but he doesn't share his knowledge with Qeria? Why is he inconsistent?
I know, I ask too many questions, but that's the way my mind works. I have an inquisitive mind.
um... what's wrong with the period after i ask? it's grammatically correct.
according to what she sees, he never leaves the house physically. do you see what i'm saying here? she tells what she sees. and him never leaving the house is what she sees.
he came into the kitchen? he was sitting there the whole time.
she was very young when things changed and the family divided for complicated reasons. death thought his older daughters would naturally explain the situation to qeria. it didn't occur to him that they would lie. this is the first time qeria and death have had a conversation in a very long time.
- Nice changes. It's definitely improved!
- I was actually talking about a 'time period', when there's conversations going on. You've fixed it, so there's no point going into it now. :)
- I don't understand the immoral thing. He's their Dad. 'They' are married.
- I had the impression that he came into the kitchen from somewhere else in the house when she started making dinner.
So what you're saying is: they live in a kitchen, which, by her perception, he never leaves? Weird.
(Now I'm just being difficult.) :)
- I've come to a conclusion. This story is too complex to try to make into a short story. There's too much left out in order for it to make sense. That's just my opinion.
Which is worth about... 2 cents.
I wish somebody else would comment so I don't feel like Beth and I aren't playing tennis.
Back to you Beth!
like dotia said, the daughters are beginning to look older than their dad, so to say they have a kid sister implies to normal mortals that either she was a surprise baby or their mother is too old to have children and therefore must be from another woman. hence immoral.
she's in the process of making soup and he is sitting at the table
the story didn't start out complex. i didn't mean it to be. it just happened. sorry. since i wrote it i thought up all kinds of stuff to go with it.
actually to tell the truth it was a dream i had. you know those weird ones when you're every character? yeah i got to be death and life and qeria and ariara and so on. it gets confusing but it sure gives a lot of insight into each character.
Alittle difficult read in the first paragraph for me. Once I began to the meat and potatoes yum!
I enjoyed the exploration of the people and their relationships to each other.One line difficult to place in belonging in the story was the line about immoral age difference Aunts/sisters - Dad- and little girl.(I am afraid I am still confused).At first I thought the dad was in a vegetative state-"awakening" to the young girl.Then getting the reference to death.WOW.
Thanks, Alisa
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