On January 8, 2007 this series of numbers 3-7-2-8 was exactly what Aly Sue Melater needed to win the Pick 4 lottery. She lived near the small town of Rotten Hallow, West Virginia. Everyone in the rural neighborhood knew her as a cheerful eighty-nine year old woman. She was best known for her short pant legs, sunflower covered floppy hat, and her mean spirited curse of a boyfriend.
Friends of Melater claimed she thought winning the ten million dollars would help her cantankerous love bundle to be a little more amiable. Sadly, Lady’s Luck literally
ran out on her March 7, 2008. Aly Sue was found with photos of her at the present, three
ex-husbands, seven estranged children, two runaway dogs, and eight southern fried chickens, by her side. A note written in her own hand read, “I knew that donkey would be the death of me.”
Towns folk could hear Melater’s boyfriend, Steele De Cash , holler as he drove thru town on his new Jon Dear-me tractor. “No! I ain’t using my new tractor and trailer to pull her casket to the cemetery! Make the donkey do it; She killed her!” The local vet hollered back, “you gotta! Lady Luck got put to sleep yesterday.”
Other arrangements were made for Aly Sue to get to the cemetery. Rumor is that
Aly Sue finally got her wish. Her boyfriend is a kinder man now. It is said he’s sleeping better now that his mattress is stuffed with what is left over from the ten million dollars.
Original Headline: “Lady Luck runs out for lottery winner” –
National Enquirer 06/18/2008
Alisa Lucas Aka. Max Lucas
Tabloid story - imagined -Headline: “Lady Luck runs out on lottery winner”
Copyright © 2008
5 comments:
that's hilarious! i love what she was best known for and the donkey. the fried chickens were a nice touch too.
...And all under 1,000 words -:*LOL
Thank-you for your kind words. I worry others won't get my sense of humor. I am glad you enjoyed my story. - Max.
You are too funny. The donkey part confused me slightly, but it was a totally believable scenario.
Keep 'em coming.
I don't know what the original story was, but I liked your spin on it. Really funny!
I didn't get, right away, that she was dead, until the second paragraph. I fear it needs to be stated more clearly early on.
And in the first paragraph there's a sentence that threw me... "Aly Sue was found with photos of her at the present..." do you mean a "current photo of her"? Not sure what you're saying here.
And I'm confused how she wrote a note about the donkey killing her, after she was dead. Call me crazy, but I hope I have the presence of mind to write a my loved ones a note after I'm dead. :)
You crack me up Alisa!
Keep writing! Please. I can't wait to see what else you come up with.
Ken
Ken, Her note was on her death bed... her passing words were...
I knew you'd get it.-max
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